Month: August 2017

Practicing Loving Kindness –

Has anyone ever ¨ got your goat?” Sometimes my goat use to feel so beat up, if she were of this world she would be limping along with a broken leg and two black eyes.

I am referring to how other people can often get on your nerves, annoy you and rob you of your “happy place.”  Where I come from we would allude to this as “getting your goat,” and would often say ¨Darn, she got my goat again.” This “goat getter” can be a stranger in the road or  in the supermarket. The most infamous “goat getters” are often our beloved family members.  

You are standing in line at the grocery store with one item, perhaps a simple bottle of water? The lady in front of you has a cart full of groceries. She glances right around you and even through you. She proceeds to empty her cart on the counter, which seems to take forever. Now you think would it have been a nice gesture for her to let you go ahead of her. Well she doesn’t! What do you do? Do you feel anger towards her?  How about the guy who cuts you off the road? Do you give him the power to ruin your moment or even your whole day? Do you flip him the infamous middle finger, because that helps! Truth be known treating rude actions with rudeness  is just plain rude!

I live in a surf town in Costa Rica,  where the roads are mostly dirt and where tourists and travelers love to explore. Many times as I ride my motorcycle or bicycle along the dirt roads with my chihuahua riding shot gun on the gas tank of the motorcycle or in the basket of the bike, along comes a “rude” tourist traveling at speeds much to fast for jungle dirt roads.  Kicking up dust in his wake fogging my dog and me with enough dust to choke a goat.  Oh many times, I would be tempted  to yell obscenities. Then I ask myself –   what good would loosing my dignity do?   They wouldn’t hear me anyways and all it would do would rob me from feeling any sense of joy.   I instead choose to practice loving kindness within being aware of the “trigger” and secretly hope the rare presence of the traffic police may stop them in their tracks.  I let it go! And proceed merrily on my way down the beautiful roads where monkeys hang from trees and horses roam freely.

Intention is a very important aspect here.  Ask your self did the person who just “got your goat” or in other words who just  “pissed you off,” do it intentionally, unintentionally or jokingly.  Intent is a very important factor and defines the character of the person.  Knowing their character helps you decide weather you want to include them in your life or simply let them go.  If the offense was unintentional, keep them around, forgiveness is a mighty virtue and will serve you well in the long run.  If they were  joking then perhaps they just need to be told nicely that your simply don’t appreciate their sense of humor.  If the offender was  downright rude and intentional then it may be prudent to practice indifference with forgiveness and walk away quickly.

I have come to the conclusion that we must have compassion for the self centered unthoughtful people that intentionally try to irritate you and that perhaps some day they will know better!

How lovely it would be  if we could show loving  kindness, send good vibes and smile instead of responding with the same negative energy the thoughtless unkind people are projecting.   You could also say a prayer for them  if you’re so inclined or if you’re of a spiritual vibe send some love and light.  Some just need a little more help than others on this life  journey.  Responding from a centered place within yourself and with a loving yet “don’t mess with me,” kindness will  give rise to your own feeling of peace and perhaps will help others be more compassionate, aware and thoughtful.   Truth is –  it really doesn’t matter what others do or how they  respond, it only matters how we are.

“We can not control the actions of others we can only control how we respond.”

So, I urge you to consider responding out of a place of love the next time some one “gets your goat,” or makes your goat “crazy,”

What matters is the joy you feel inside amongst the living.  To be joyful here on earth is heaven on earth.  Avoid the temptation to respond with hate and anger,  because when you do  you have reinforced the negative behavior and, I can guarantee, you too will feel hate, anger and even guilt and nobody wins!

A Guru is a great teacher and one who may reveal to you the light from out of the darkness.  I like to think of the “ goat getters” as my Guru and I thank them.  If I choose to I can see the light out of the darkness of their ignorance. Through them I have learned how to control my emotions, I have seen my need to please and through them I became aware of  my silly expectations.  I can and may become enlightened because of them.  However, a true guru’s objective  is to teach you about your self. Our “goat getter’s” objective is nothing more than to annoy and agitate you, and they are only our teachers if we choose to see them from that perspective and learn.

Our loved ones can be the biggest “goat getters” of them all, here our goat could be in a full body cast. And because our loved ones “love” us so much, they will then want to sign the cast with hearts and with XOXO’s. It is evident that the more we care about someone the more we want to change him or her in our image.   Is it because in our “semi” warped minds, we feel our image of what is best is the only way to be?  Truth is we don’t know what is best for ourselves half the time.  How is it possible to know what is best for others?

Our loved ones get our goats because they simply care and we care about them.  All this caring creates a tactic for control.  We typically control when we don’t trust.  This  lack of trust leads to control and control equals resentment.  It is a vicious cycle!  Bottom line – Give loving advise, then trust and let go.  Is it not through our own experiences of life do we learn?  It would be wise to let the ones you love experience life as their own.

Once upon a time there was nothing I could do or say that would change the perception of someone that was near and dear to me.  I was needing, so desperately, their approval.  Their perception of my intentions was so very distorted.  And because I was attached to the need for approval, I felt hurt, angry, frustrated etc.  I had to do something to save my poor little “goat,” I was overwhelmed with sadness of the situation.

Living here where the jungle meets the ocean provides me with the precious alone time of walking on the beach and floating in the tide pools.  It was floating in the quiet stillness of the tide pools one morning  that I had what I refer to as an “Aha” moment.  “Aha” I know what my intentions are and I realized – that what I know to be my truth is all that really matters.  I then knew that  all I had to do was to send love, light, have compassion, expect nothing more than what others are capable of  and  most of all be happy and joyful.    I chose to protect my goat and not to be angry or resentful and just love.  My livestock were leaping for joy and I had been liberated. Liberated from the darkness of negative thoughts and feelings.   I knew my intentions were pure and that my goat was now safe and happy.

Thank you to all the “goat getters” out there and  may the light of love shine within you and may your goats jump with JOY!

A ceremony that changed my life and my perspective on suffering and also of sweating.

When I was living in New England, I had never heard of a Temazcal, so when I was invited to a ceremony, I had no idea what it was or what to expect. Now living in Central America I have attended four of these ceremonies and all but one proved to be cleansing in mind, body and spirit.

Let me first explain what it is for those of you who are not familiar with it.
A Temazcal ([temasˈkal]) is a sweat lodge which originated with pre-Hispanic Indigenous peoples in Mesoamerica. The word temazcal comes from the Nahuatl word temāzcalli [temaːsˈkalːi] (“house of heat”), or possibly from the Aztec teme (to bathe) and calli (house).

The structure can be permanent usually made of volcanic rock or cement, or it can also be semi-permanent made with bamboo stakes and A large canvas tarp. It is typically always a dome structure, its highest point may be 4 ft and allows for no standing room. One must crawl on one’s hands and knees over blankets and dirt to take one’s place in the circle. In the middle of the structure, there is a pit that is dug to hold the hot “grandmother” stones as they are referred to by the Shamen. The “grandmother” stones are first heated outside the dome in the burning “grandfather fire.” When the stones are red hot they are carried with a shovel,very carefully, and placed into the pit inside the dome, where, the master of ceremonies or Shaman pours water infused with the healing herbs of copal and sage over the stones to create wafts of steam and immense heat.

The actual ceremony typically involves four rounds of “purification,” each round taking approximately 30 minutes. At the beginning of each round, a new set of “grandmother” stones are brought in to replace the stones that have cooled down. The dome is also referred to as the “womb”, the feeling of a “new birth” literally to be “born again”. In the heat and the darkness, the Shaman leads the chants while other participants shake medicine rattles and bang on drums.

In ancient Mesoamerica this was used as part of a curative ceremony thought to purify the body after exertion such as after a battle, or a ceremonial ball game. It was also used for healing the sick, improving health, and for women before they gave birth. It continues to be used today in Indigenous cultures of Mexico and Central America that were part of the ancient Mesoamerican region for spiritual and health reasons. It is now being adopted by many sectors of society in Mexico and Central America and is used as a means to cleanse the mind, body and spirit.

I did mentioned in my opening paragraph that all but one ceremony had proved to be cleansing. I say this because at the second ceremony I attended I was not allowed to enter. I arrived early with a friend who lets just say I dragged to the ceremony. She was not excited or interested in sweating in search of her soul or anything for that matter. As we were sitting there waiting for the ceremony to begin and to enter the “torture chamber”, as my friend put it, a lovely woman with a gypsy type red skirt approached me and asked me if I was on my moon cycle. I looked at my friend in dismay and whispered “what is a moon cycle?” My friend shrugged her shoulders, suggesting she had no idea. “Do you have your period?” the woman asked. “Yes, I just started today.” She proceeded to take my hand and lead me over to the grandfather fire, and told me to sit next to her. She took out a big bag of tobacco and little red square pieces of cloth with a string. Pinching the tobacco and placing it in the red pieces cloth, she then tied them with the string. She continued this until twelve pouches of tobacco were tied up. The twelve pouches were then added to a longer piece of string making a long line of tobacco pouches. She then put her arms around me and tied this contraption to my waist. I was now sporting a “I have my period and I want the world to know belt.” My friend was in hysterics as was I. The woman said to me “this will protect the others from your energy, your stuff is not their stuff.” I guessed being on your “moon cycle” one acquires “stuff”.

We all lined up to enter the ceremony, I was pulled out of line, I was told I could not enter. I guess the belt gave it away! My friend being urged to enter looked at me as if she wanted to wring my neck. She lowered her self to the ground and crawled in on hands and knees and was gone into the darkness of the “womb”. Here I was the one wanting to feel the purifying effects of the ceremony and I was the one sitting out in the cool fresh night air under the stars.

There were four other woman who were apparently on their moon cycle too! I was told by one of the woman that it is a blessing that the universe bestowed upon me my moon cycle at this time. “This is a time of special energy and can be called upon with the sacred tobacco ceremony,” she said. We had a ceremony of sorts out by the grandfather fire, a ceremony that included smoking sacred tobacco rolled our of cornhusks like a big fat “stogie”. We puffed three times to the north, we puffed to the south, east and west while chanting some words, I had no idea what they meant. Nonetheless, it was pretty magical and even though I wasn’t feeling the cleansing of the purifying ceremony going on in the dome, my time with the other “moon sisters” puffing on sacred tobacco was mystical and spiritually up lifting.

From where I sat, I could hear the cries of a baby from inside the dome and I witnessed participants emerging from the ceremony being sick. I was concerned for the baby and for the purging people. The woman who led the tobacco ceremony assured me in her wisdom like tone,
“Dear, its ok, the baby’s mother knows her child is fine and that the cries signifies life,it signifies rebirthing, for the temazcal symbolizes the uterus where life is created. In the dark and in the unknown the cries are life.” She continued, “as for the people vomiting this also is a blessing, they are releasing the toxins, it is a time for renewal.” There you have it, a total new perspective on crying babies and vomiting people, its all a blessing!

I was wondering how my friend was enduring not only the sweltering heat and chants but also of the cries of a the baby. Soon, in the darkness and through the smoke, I saw a woman’s body staggering towards me. It was my friend, she had dug her way out and under the tarps. The Shaman would not allow her to exit until the next round. My friend had had enough and instead of waiting for the “birth” to be released from the ceremony, she performed a “C” section, and dug her way out.

My sweaty dirty friend now joined the “moon sisters,” and was happy to be sitting round the fire smoking the sacred tobacco and thanking the great spirits that she got the “hell out of there!”

This ceremony is surely sacred and purifying, but it is not for everybody. You have to be ready to purge the old and bring in the new. We all come to our own spirituality in different ways and as one way works for one, it does not work for another. Spirituality is personal and you and you alone are the only one to know what works for you.

If you ever have the chance to attend a Temazcal Ceremony, I highly recommend it if you feel ready to release old beliefs and habits. You too may find, like I did that a Temazcal is a blessing rather than a misery.

After one of the ceremonies I attended I wrote this. I was ready and I was blessed!

New Years Day 2016

“I release all toxins in my life both in substance and human form. I release all negative energy while I move into the New Year with positive energy. I choose to manifest well being, abundance, prosperity and joy.”

I uttered these words during the Temazcal last night. A purifying ceremony on the top of the mountain held in a bamboo structure, Only big enough to crawl into and to sit cross legged or in prone positiion. Four rounds of steaming hot stones with copal water was poured on top to fill the fire with the essence of healing. The door closed on the dark and steamy interior and with each pour of of copal, the small crowded dome would heat to a blustering intensity. My body became a sponge, sopping with sweat, dripping, I brushed up against the girl next to me. My Emotions and desires felt as if they were being burned away like a leaf pile on an autumn day, to be gone forever. I lay on the ground in utter exhaustion, half on my sarong half in the dirt, I was a sweaty and muddy grateful mess. I felt the intensity of the heat, the intensity of the purifying energy of drumming, of rattles and mesmerizing chanting. My body, my mind, my spirit released the senseless desires that I had housed for way too long.

After two hours and four rounds of grandmother stones , I was allowed to emerge. To be reborn from the ¨womb,¨ out into the fresh and cool night air. On hands and knees I crawled to the door and was met with a man holding a pot of simmering copal to finalize the purification. I stumbled to my feet, swaying to and fro, drunk with gratitude and THE joy of releasing all that did not serve my higher self. Tears filled my eyes, and a sweaty, dirt bound mess, I stared up at the night sky and thanked the universe, I thanked God, I thanked all the energies that had watched over me and haD listened to the cries of my soul. The star constellation of Orion’s belt was there to greet me, to make me feel at home . I stretched my arms up to the sky to embrace the moment and Orion.
Many chose to go the showers right away. I wanted to hold onto the feeling; I was not ready to come out of MY blissful, grateful state of oneness with the universe. I wanted to hold onto the sweat and the mud as if it were my armor of purification.

I uttered the following words again and again ” I release all toxins in my life both in substance and human form. I release all negative energy while I move into the New Year with positive energy. I choose to manifest well being, abundance, prosperity and joy.

Namaste
Maryann