Leave My Goat Alone – Please!

Practicing Loving Kindness –

Has anyone ever ¨ got your goat?” Sometimes my goat use to feel so beat up, if she were of this world she would be limping along with a broken leg and two black eyes.

I am referring to how other people can often get on your nerves, annoy you and rob you of your “happy place.”  Where I come from we would allude to this as “getting your goat,” and would often say ¨Darn, she got my goat again.” This “goat getter” can be a stranger in the road or  in the supermarket. The most infamous “goat getters” are often our beloved family members.  

You are standing in line at the grocery store with one item, perhaps a simple bottle of water? The lady in front of you has a cart full of groceries. She glances right around you and even through you. She proceeds to empty her cart on the counter, which seems to take forever. Now you think would it have been a nice gesture for her to let you go ahead of her. Well she doesn’t! What do you do? Do you feel anger towards her?  How about the guy who cuts you off the road? Do you give him the power to ruin your moment or even your whole day? Do you flip him the infamous middle finger, because that helps! Truth be known treating rude actions with rudeness  is just plain rude!

I live in a surf town in Costa Rica,  where the roads are mostly dirt and where tourists and travelers love to explore. Many times as I ride my motorcycle or bicycle along the dirt roads with my chihuahua riding shot gun on the gas tank of the motorcycle or in the basket of the bike, along comes a “rude” tourist traveling at speeds much to fast for jungle dirt roads.  Kicking up dust in his wake fogging my dog and me with enough dust to choke a goat.  Oh many times, I would be tempted  to yell obscenities. Then I ask myself –   what good would loosing my dignity do?   They wouldn’t hear me anyways and all it would do would rob me from feeling any sense of joy.   I instead choose to practice loving kindness within being aware of the “trigger” and secretly hope the rare presence of the traffic police may stop them in their tracks.  I let it go! And proceed merrily on my way down the beautiful roads where monkeys hang from trees and horses roam freely.

Intention is a very important aspect here.  Ask your self did the person who just “got your goat” or in other words who just  “pissed you off,” do it intentionally, unintentionally or jokingly.  Intent is a very important factor and defines the character of the person.  Knowing their character helps you decide weather you want to include them in your life or simply let them go.  If the offense was unintentional, keep them around, forgiveness is a mighty virtue and will serve you well in the long run.  If they were  joking then perhaps they just need to be told nicely that your simply don’t appreciate their sense of humor.  If the offender was  downright rude and intentional then it may be prudent to practice indifference with forgiveness and walk away quickly.

I have come to the conclusion that we must have compassion for the self centered unthoughtful people that intentionally try to irritate you and that perhaps some day they will know better!

How lovely it would be  if we could show loving  kindness, send good vibes and smile instead of responding with the same negative energy the thoughtless unkind people are projecting.   You could also say a prayer for them  if you’re so inclined or if you’re of a spiritual vibe send some love and light.  Some just need a little more help than others on this life  journey.  Responding from a centered place within yourself and with a loving yet “don’t mess with me,” kindness will  give rise to your own feeling of peace and perhaps will help others be more compassionate, aware and thoughtful.   Truth is –  it really doesn’t matter what others do or how they  respond, it only matters how we are.

“We can not control the actions of others we can only control how we respond.”

So, I urge you to consider responding out of a place of love the next time some one “gets your goat,” or makes your goat “crazy,”

What matters is the joy you feel inside amongst the living.  To be joyful here on earth is heaven on earth.  Avoid the temptation to respond with hate and anger,  because when you do  you have reinforced the negative behavior and, I can guarantee, you too will feel hate, anger and even guilt and nobody wins!

A Guru is a great teacher and one who may reveal to you the light from out of the darkness.  I like to think of the “ goat getters” as my Guru and I thank them.  If I choose to I can see the light out of the darkness of their ignorance. Through them I have learned how to control my emotions, I have seen my need to please and through them I became aware of  my silly expectations.  I can and may become enlightened because of them.  However, a true guru’s objective  is to teach you about your self. Our “goat getter’s” objective is nothing more than to annoy and agitate you, and they are only our teachers if we choose to see them from that perspective and learn.

Our loved ones can be the biggest “goat getters” of them all, here our goat could be in a full body cast. And because our loved ones “love” us so much, they will then want to sign the cast with hearts and with XOXO’s. It is evident that the more we care about someone the more we want to change him or her in our image.   Is it because in our “semi” warped minds, we feel our image of what is best is the only way to be?  Truth is we don’t know what is best for ourselves half the time.  How is it possible to know what is best for others?

Our loved ones get our goats because they simply care and we care about them.  All this caring creates a tactic for control.  We typically control when we don’t trust.  This  lack of trust leads to control and control equals resentment.  It is a vicious cycle!  Bottom line – Give loving advise, then trust and let go.  Is it not through our own experiences of life do we learn?  It would be wise to let the ones you love experience life as their own.

Once upon a time there was nothing I could do or say that would change the perception of someone that was near and dear to me.  I was needing, so desperately, their approval.  Their perception of my intentions was so very distorted.  And because I was attached to the need for approval, I felt hurt, angry, frustrated etc.  I had to do something to save my poor little “goat,” I was overwhelmed with sadness of the situation.

Living here where the jungle meets the ocean provides me with the precious alone time of walking on the beach and floating in the tide pools.  It was floating in the quiet stillness of the tide pools one morning  that I had what I refer to as an “Aha” moment.  “Aha” I know what my intentions are and I realized – that what I know to be my truth is all that really matters.  I then knew that  all I had to do was to send love, light, have compassion, expect nothing more than what others are capable of  and  most of all be happy and joyful.    I chose to protect my goat and not to be angry or resentful and just love.  My livestock were leaping for joy and I had been liberated. Liberated from the darkness of negative thoughts and feelings.   I knew my intentions were pure and that my goat was now safe and happy.

Thank you to all the “goat getters” out there and  may the light of love shine within you and may your goats jump with JOY!